How Far Apart?!

A Dollar Store Letter

2010-08-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Lady At The Dollar Store With Two Kids Under Two And Many Pregnancy Tests In Her Cart,

Real funny!!!

Love,
Oh wait... that was me...

(It's just for piece of mind, people)

It Makes Sense.

2010-08-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

In case anyone is actually reading this blog, I think the lack of posting should be a pretty good indicator of my free time. Currently babies are 8 months and just about 22 months. One crawls and screeches while the other runs too fast and complains. Even though the house looks like a tornado hit it 100% of the time, I have been taking pride in my new found stacking laundry to the ceiling ability, remembering to feed everyone every day, and the fact that we have made zero ER visits. Life is chaos, but it is good chaos. Exhausting chaos. If I could just teach them to sleep at night...

Turning The Corner

2010-06-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

Let's not lie, having two kids is hard. Having a new baby is hard. And having two very small people close together is hard. But a couple of days ago I realized something... I have turned the corner.

I suppose it started about when Sammy was 4 months and began to consolidate her naps into a more regular routine. The increased predictability allowed me to plan when I could do certain things (shop, shower, clean, etc.) And now that she is 6 months we seem to have settled into an even more predictable schedule of sorts.

The rest of the equation is kind of like this:
Reasonable Predictability+Slightly Better Night Time Sleeping+Body Healed From Birth+Exercising+Sammy's Ability To Self-Entertain Better+Harmon & Sammy Entertaining Each Other+Misc.= Feeling pretty in control of my life with two small people.

And it's a good feeling.

The Bedtime Blessing

2010-05-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

It seems I am neglecting this blog. Blame it on the children.

Lately said children have given me a most wonderful gift at bedtime. They have been going to sleep in the same room at the same time from wide awake to fast asleep. Without me being in the room. I don't know how this magically happened, but it did. Sammy often goes to sleep an hour or so before Harmon, but will often get woken up in the process of putting Harmon to sleep. A week or two ago was the first time that when I put him down and she was awake and I just left (to both of them complaining) instead of taking her out with me to put her down in the other room. As soon as I shut the door (assuming I would be coming back to actual crying in a minute) the complaining stopped. And there was no more noise until several hours later when Sammy needed a snack.

I still don't want to jinx it, but I will say I am VERY happy with the current situation and hope it continues. My landlord just woke my baby up. The end.

The Diaper Problem

2010-04-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is so ridiculous, but as Sammy has moved up a diaper size her diapers are harder to distinguish from Harmon's just by glancing at them. And if you have a helper who likes to take all diapers out of any container they may be put in, you will then have a jumble of diapers of various sizes which then require opening the tab to see what size they are. This is not a task I wish upon anyone. After lamenting my fate of always having to figure out which diaper is which when it is urgently needed I came up with the best solution I could think of: my old friend sharpie. Now when I open a pack of diapers I take a few minutes to pull them all out, mark them with the appropriate 'H' or 'S' and feel like a genius.

Harmon's Sixth Sense

2010-04-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

Is knowing the exact moment in which I am 30 seconds away from finishing nursing the baby and about to put her into her crib ultra-drowsy. He will ALWAYS come wandering in and for some reason my almost 18-month-old doesn't understand "shhhhhh baby peanut is sleeping!" Or maybe he does, because he will then knock on the door, bang toys together, and talk as loud as he can.

Man I love that stinker. Even if his sister would get more sleep if he would quit it.

I'm Dying, or Sleep PLEASE!

2010-04-06T08:32:00.000-07:00

So, the cribs in the same room idea was good. It turns out I sleep a lot better with no babies making little (or big) noises in my ear. What is not so good is that my children hate sleeping. Luckily they have been pretty good about not waking each other up, but perhaps that is in part because I go running in at the slightest noise to keep whoever is the noise producer quiet. Which is approximately EVERY HOUR.

Somehow my babies come out sleeping well enough, and by months have learned that waking up every hour is the best idea in the world. I think Harmon was at 2-3 hours by 4 months and waited until 6 months to do the hourly thing. Sammy is so advanced. I realize that Sammy is suffering teething pains, but most of the time she just wants a little snack and to be put back to sleep. The times when Sammy has been sleeping 2 or more hours, Harmon favors us with a teeth pain induced waking, or perhaps just an "it's-5am-I-want-to-be-cuddled-and-rocked-while-you-stand-up-don't-you-even-think-about-sitting-or-laying-down" waking which we enjoy so much.

All this sleep deprivation leads me to say awful things to my kind husband who asks yesterday morning: "what can I do to help?" My reply? "Don't get me pregnant ever again!"

But seriously. One baby is ridiculous if you like sleep. Two babies? I think I may die.

The Same Room Experiment

2010-04-01T06:38:00.000-07:00

Since Sammy had decided to start waking up every hour for fun I decided it was time to start the kids sleeping in the same room earlier than I had planned. She had been sleeping in our room in a co-sleeper, but it seemed being so close to me made her want to wake up and play/eat every hour or so. Which of course left me feeling like death all day every day.

So, two days ago we set up crib #2, and last night I put her to sleep in Harmon's room. It went like this:

7:30 feed Sammy and put her down in her crib, turn on sound machine
8:00 read books with Harmon in our room, bring him into his room to sing and sleep
1:30 Sammy wakes up, feed her for 15 min
3:30 Sammy wakes up, feed her for 15 min (panic that this is going to be the pattern for the rest of the night)
6:30 Harmon wakes up, turn off sound machine
6:31 Sammy wakes up

Although this was only night #1, it went WAY better than expected. I slept 3 1/2 hours in a row and got 8 hours total. It was amazing. I can only pray that it continues.

Teething x2

2010-03-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Parents of Twins: how on earth do you survive? Harmon is getting all four painful I teeth, and Sammy is working on (at least) her bottom front two. They get up alternately about every hour all night long. Seriously. Not cool.

Double Stroller Mistake

2010-03-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

The mistake was not bringing it to go shopping at the outlets. I thought: oh, I will put one child in the single stroller, and the other in the pack. Also the aisles are so narrow, our doublewide won't fit. [it will, just not on busy days when there are 100 people. today was not a busy day.]

With Harmon in the pack on back and Sammy in the stroller we make it through one store, sort of. Sammy screamed most of the time, and Harmon tried to dive from the pack whenever a rack was within his reach.

Then it was back to the car to feed Sammy and switch the setup. Round two was Harmon in the stroller. I may or may not have given him a lollipop. Ok, I did. But it was only a dum dum. Sammy in the pack, screaming bloody murder. We make it to zero stores.

Take Sammy out of the pack, hold her under my arm. Crying stops. We make it to two stores. I should point out that these are quick trips, under 5 min apiece.

In the next store they have adorable coats for Harmon for $12.99, but only in 18 months, not 2T. Maybe I will just try it on him? [This move cost me the game.] I take him out of the stroller and set him free for a minute while I put Sammy into the stroller. She screams. I try on the coat. Oh it is ever so cute but will only fit for a little bit... I decide it's a no-go. Pick up Harmon (who begins to scream) and push Sammy (who is screaming) towards the door. Receive sympathetic looks from all. Shopping over. Kids: 1 Mom: 0

On the plus side, at least I didn't spend too much money?

The First Official Bad Day

2010-03-04T16:38:00.001-08:00

Today we all cried at the same time. It was awful. But then we all got better. And it's sunny, so maybe it's not a bad day after all. Two sick babies is pretty junky though. I don't recommend it.

Yes, Please!!!

2010-02-26T11:55:00.000-08:00

Sammy is quite taken with her older brother in the last week or so. So much that she will watch him play, and when he is gone from her limited eyesight she cries.

Also Harmon seems to be quite fond of his little sister as well. He brings the pacifier when she cries, gives her [not very] gentle pats to make her happy, rocks her in her car seat, and gives her many wet smooches.

Please please please please let it continue in such a fashion.

Age Difference?

2010-02-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

Ages 2 months and 16 months:

Lady at Costco: "Are they twins?" [Seriously?]

Lady at Group Health who was taking her two kids aged 2 yrs and 4 months to get shots: "How do you manage?" [Uh, just like you?]

Lady at Walmart: "So, is he 2 yet?" "Not yet." "How old is she?" "Two months." "Oh, so they are close!" "Yep."

I love it.

Playdate = Exhaustion

2010-02-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

When I think about playgroups and playdates I think about before I had Sammy. I think about sitting around with other moms chatting, playing with our kids, and making sure they don't die or break anything. It seems so enjoyable and... dare I say... recharging.

I don't know why I had any reason to think that yesterday's playgroup would be easy. First, I have the first and third youngest children in the group. Second, I have a two month old who cries. A lot. I thought I could alleviate this problem by driving around a bit before the playgroup and put Sammy to sleep. Not so. Third, Harmon is into everything. EVERYTHING. Non-stop. And he likes to step (stomp) on other kids and steal their toys. This requires a lot of vigilance obviously.

So, at yesterday's valentine's day playgroup party, I managed to get one of the best workouts of my life. Sammy cried the first 45min (or more?) so I bounced and rocked and did squats while my legs burned. And after that when she finally fell asleep, I couldn't put her down. Meanwhile Harmon wanted to do everything: climb the stairs, play in the toilet, pull the books off the shelf, steal toys, etc. I think I would do better as an octopus.

When I write it down, it seems so mild, but really, although I enjoyed seeing some other moms and Harmon enjoyed playing, it was exhausting. The good news? We all came home and took a long nap together. Oh, and we ate a lot of cookies.

The First Month

2010-01-22T17:25:00.001-08:00

Everyone who has kids close together likes to tell me that "things will get better!" I take this to mean that it's ridiculously difficult at first, and progressively gets easier as you adapt/become better at managing two, and that as your kids become more self-sufficient it's easier as well. I really hope that's true, because it seems a bit too easy right now.

Don't get me wrong. It's hard. Like the times when both babies are crying. Or not napping. Or waking each other up. But it's a lot easier than I imagined it would be. As I tell most everyone, I imagined extreme ultimate chaos, and anything below that is a welcome surprise. So, pretty much I will declare it a bad day based on these conditions all occurring at the same time: 1. Sammy is crying 2. Harmon is crying 3. I am crying. Thus far we have managed only two crying at the same time, not all three of us, though we have come close. Most of the crying is done by the kids, but I've done my fair share but that's probably mostly because I'm a wussy baby by nature.

Probably much of my success in not feeling like a complete failure comes from Sammy liking to sleep in the car (and subsequently in the grocery store) Aaron being home between jobs a fair amount, and my mom coming over to provide adult conversation on a weekly basis.

The biggest problem besides both of the babies needing something at the same time is my lack of sleep. This is a combination problem: I hate going to bed and stay up too late (yeah, 11pm is pretty late, I know) and the kids have a magical talent of never napping at the same time.

So all in all, it's been a great and pretty easy first month. Now get back to me when I have two babies that can crawl/run/move in different directions. I imagine that will be pretty ridiculous.

Car Trip

2010-01-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

Because Aaron is starting a new job on Monday, we decided last week that we would take a trip to Montana to visit his family. We then were stuck with the decision of how to get there. Options included train (24ish hours), car (8hrs without kids), flying (1.5hrs in the air). Of course these options were not only factors of time, but of money too. Aaron managed to buy himself a truck and so we decided that was the way to go. But I was scared. Real scared.

But as it turns out, I had nothing to be afraid of (this time). Baby Peanut slept pretty much the whole time both ways. There were a few peeps and crying, but mostly silence from her end. Harmon was an angel. Going over he napped pretty well, and was content to play with toys and chat with us. Near the end of the trip when we had to turn around to go rescue Aaron's parents traveling the opposite direction I knew it was time to bust out the DVD player. I mean come on, he had been in the car for over 8 hours at that point, it was totally justified. (I am really only trying to convince myself it's ok.) Going home was a bit more difficult, but he was still practically perfect. This time aided by juice boxes and candy and about 45 minutes before home a DVD.

So, in sum: 1 month old baby plus almost 15 month old baby plus bribery and stopping a bunch = good car trip. I really should call it great, as it was about 100 times better than expected, but I don't like riding in the car that much either, so we'll just call it good for now.

The First Two Weeks

2009-12-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

It would be fair to say that things are going better than expected. But it also would be fair to say that if you expect ultimate chaos all the time, then anything less than that would seem easier.

The first couple of days were lovely. The bliss of a new cute baby managed to outweigh her brother's displeasure at her arrival. Plus the help of Grandma did wonders for everyone's sanity and rest. Day three was just our new family of four and suddenly things didn't seem so manageble. I spent most of my time in bed, but thought poor Aaron would go crazy. It seems that day three was just an adjustment day for everyone (especially Harmon) and that things have steadily improved from there.

Harmon started out screaming/throwing himself on the floor/rejecting me when Sammy was brand new and would cry. Now he will come over and pat her, he has stopped rejecting me (it was easier to do so when Aaron was home, not so much when it's just me) and only occasionally feels the need to melt down when Sammy is crying. It's fair though, I kind of want to melt down when she screams bloody murder.

Last Monday, 6 days after having Sammy, Aaron went back to work. And we were alone. I think Aaron was more scared for me than I was. And honestly, things went really really well. Probably partially because Sammy sleeps a lot still. And because she can't move on her own. And because Harmon is getting used to his new life. And because I am getting WAY more sleep than when I was pregnant, and this makes me feel 100 times better. Also my body is recovering 10 times faster than when I had Harmon, so that makes life easier too.

I have decided a bad day consists of Sammy, Harmon, and me all crying at the same time. Of the 4 days we have spent alone, none of them have been bad. Day 4 was kind of stressful, and the kids often decide to cry and be starving at the same time, but we have yet to reach the all of us crying point. I have no doubt it will come someday, but I hope to keep it at bay as long as possible.

So, my report for the first two weeks is that having two kids less than 14 months apart is great. I really enjoy both of them, Harmon makes me laugh so much, and Samantha is a good cute cuddler. I choose to live in the bliss that we are currently enjoying and am trying to block out what will happen when both children crawl/walk/run/gang up on me on purpose.

P.S. Church is ridiculous with one small child, add another and it's insane. I think in the 3 hours we spent at church Aaron managed to get about 30 minutes total in class, and me about 45.

I'm Ready. No I'm Not.

2009-11-14T20:48:00.000-08:00

This is the 4 minute loop that plays in my head all day.

First I think: yes, I am going to have two kids, 13 month apart, everything will be fine (I have no idea why I think this).

Then 30 seconds later I panic: what? I have a one-year-old who just started walking, likes to attempt to dive out of shopping carts, is becoming more and more "willful" and likes being held an awful lot. How does a baby who can't do anything for themselves fit into this situation without a lot of screaming from one or both of them?

I talk myself down: No no, lots of other people have done this. They all survived. None of them died. Some of them even had lots of kids close together

Panic: When will I sleep/shower/sleep/shop/sleep/sleep/clean/sleep/read/sleep?

Calm: I will go to bed early, I will beg others for help, I will be fine.

Panic: What if my kids hate each other? What if Harmon gets hurt while I am taking care of the baby? What if Harmon pokes/bites/squashes/beats on the baby? What if my new baby is ugly? (a totally important fear, right.)

Calm: I hate being pregnant. Being not pregnant will be great.

Panic: insert any new thought on the difficulty of having two children, especially two very young children.

Repeat.

[PS Sorry about the weird formatting, it's being mean to me.]

Alert: You are about to have two

2009-10-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Aaron re-realized we are about to have two children. One whom we call destructor and another who will be unable to do anything for herself. I think he was terrified.

Also a big high-five to all the strangers who have pointed out to me lately: "you will have your hands full very soon!" Here is my reply to all of them: A. My, you are observant B. Thank you, I had no idea! C. Come over to my house right now, my hands are already full D. You need a chop.

Sibling Rivalry or Mommy Torture?

2009-09-08T12:01:00.001-07:00

It seems that every time I nurse Harmon that inside baby (we are calling her Baby Niña now) kicks. A lot. Which always seems to make Harmon pound his hand on my belly. I'm not sure if they are playing a game, called beat on mommy, or getting a head start on beating each other. Either way, it makes me laugh and wonder what it will be like in a few short months when we will have both of them on the outside, and how much I will have to protect Baby Niña from Harmon.

Confession

2009-08-25T14:59:00.001-07:00

Today is destroying me.

Being sick, pregnant, nursing, and taking care of a 10 month old who has been up all night the last two nights (sick? teeth? thinks it's funny?) is wiping me out big time.

Not complaining, no sympathy needed, just confessing.

The Fat or Pregnant Stage

2009-08-11T22:13:00.001-07:00

This is a stage that probably everyone hates, but I feel like this time it has lasted much longer and is much worse.

On the rare occasion I venture out of the house alone it seems obviously to all that there is a baby in my belly. Old men at the grocery store even tell me congratulations, they aren't scared. But when I am with my lovely 9 1/2 month old, I'm just fat. I will even go out of my way to tell people, and they reply: Oh, I had no idea, you don't look like you're pregnant! Ugh.

I mean come on people, I'm over 5 months pregnant, it looks like a pregnant belly. Just because I am carting around a huge young baby doesn't mean it's just fat. Go ahead and ask. It makes me happy. Aaron tells me I have to take one for the team, that it's better to not ask people who are not pregnant and ignore those who are, just in case. I still say ugh.

Next time I will make sure to have my kids farther apart, just to clear up any confusion.

Was that on purpose?

2009-07-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

That's a nice way of saying "was getting pregnant an accident?" But really it's asking the same thing. My answer is always yes and no. Yes, we were planning on having children close together (you know, like 16 or 17 or 18 months apart, or maybe just within the same ten year period) but no we were not thinking that with a 4 month old we should have another baby stat. Although we did and do really really REALLY like Harmon, so the thought of more of him was quite pleasing.

When we found out that I was pregnant we were happy. No, we were probably elated. A bit shocked, a bit scared, but mostly just happy.

People's reactions to the news is always funny to me. There are those who are shocked but try to hide it. Others seem genuinely happy for us (like my dad's neighbor who has daughters 17 months apart, she thinks it's the best, or a friend with twins, she also seemed believably excited). Some think we are insane and tell us to our faces, others try to hide but probably tell all mutual friends about how crazy we are. All of my parents are happy. Especially now that it turns out to be a girl. But they are all hog wild about Harmon, now there will just be more babies to pass around so everyone gets more turns. But they all like to tell me how anyone they tell is shocked and asks "didn't she just have a baby??" I like all the responses, because I know that if I was on the other side being told, I would probably be shocked (and think they were crazy) and be happy for them all at the same time.

Because I Need Another Blog

2009-07-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

It's not like I have a lot of time on my hands, because I don't really. It's not because I don't already have 3 (or so) other blogs. It's just because I want to be cool and have a funny mommy blog. You know, where I tell stories about getting barfed on repeatedly or how my kids throw a super tantrum in the store. Sure, I suppose I could tell about that on our "family" blog. But I get too many complaints about "mommy blogging". Or I could write about it on the kids brag page, but that's for bragging (ok, it's for remembering, because I don't ever write a journal or keep up with baby books). I suppose I could even write about it on my "ramblings" blog, but that too seems wrong. So pretend I don't have fifty blogs. Just one blog with many different parts. This part is the one humorous one about Harmon, and his forthcoming fetus sibling ALF.