Ages 2 months and 16 months:
Lady at Costco: "Are they twins?" [Seriously?]
Lady at Group Health who was taking her two kids aged 2 yrs and 4 months to get shots: "How do you manage?" [Uh, just like you?]
Lady at Walmart: "So, is he 2 yet?" "Not yet." "How old is she?" "Two months." "Oh, so they are close!" "Yep."
I love it.
2/25/10
2/12/10
Playdate = Exhaustion
When I think about playgroups and playdates I think about before I had Sammy. I think about sitting around with other moms chatting, playing with our kids, and making sure they don't die or break anything. It seems so enjoyable and... dare I say... recharging.
I don't know why I had any reason to think that yesterday's playgroup would be easy. First, I have the first and third youngest children in the group. Second, I have a two month old who cries. A lot. I thought I could alleviate this problem by driving around a bit before the playgroup and put Sammy to sleep. Not so. Third, Harmon is into everything. EVERYTHING. Non-stop. And he likes to step (stomp) on other kids and steal their toys. This requires a lot of vigilance obviously.
So, at yesterday's valentine's day playgroup party, I managed to get one of the best workouts of my life. Sammy cried the first 45min (or more?) so I bounced and rocked and did squats while my legs burned. And after that when she finally fell asleep, I couldn't put her down. Meanwhile Harmon wanted to do everything: climb the stairs, play in the toilet, pull the books off the shelf, steal toys, etc. I think I would do better as an octopus.
When I write it down, it seems so mild, but really, although I enjoyed seeing some other moms and Harmon enjoyed playing, it was exhausting. The good news? We all came home and took a long nap together. Oh, and we ate a lot of cookies.
I don't know why I had any reason to think that yesterday's playgroup would be easy. First, I have the first and third youngest children in the group. Second, I have a two month old who cries. A lot. I thought I could alleviate this problem by driving around a bit before the playgroup and put Sammy to sleep. Not so. Third, Harmon is into everything. EVERYTHING. Non-stop. And he likes to step (stomp) on other kids and steal their toys. This requires a lot of vigilance obviously.
So, at yesterday's valentine's day playgroup party, I managed to get one of the best workouts of my life. Sammy cried the first 45min (or more?) so I bounced and rocked and did squats while my legs burned. And after that when she finally fell asleep, I couldn't put her down. Meanwhile Harmon wanted to do everything: climb the stairs, play in the toilet, pull the books off the shelf, steal toys, etc. I think I would do better as an octopus.
When I write it down, it seems so mild, but really, although I enjoyed seeing some other moms and Harmon enjoyed playing, it was exhausting. The good news? We all came home and took a long nap together. Oh, and we ate a lot of cookies.
1/22/10
The First Month
Everyone who has kids close together likes to tell me that "things will get better!" I take this to mean that it's ridiculously difficult at first, and progressively gets easier as you adapt/become better at managing two, and that as your kids become more self-sufficient it's easier as well. I really hope that's true, because it seems a bit too easy right now.
Don't get me wrong. It's hard. Like the times when both babies are crying. Or not napping. Or waking each other up. But it's a lot easier than I imagined it would be. As I tell most everyone, I imagined extreme ultimate chaos, and anything below that is a welcome surprise. So, pretty much I will declare it a bad day based on these conditions all occurring at the same time: 1. Sammy is crying 2. Harmon is crying 3. I am crying. Thus far we have managed only two crying at the same time, not all three of us, though we have come close. Most of the crying is done by the kids, but I've done my fair share but that's probably mostly because I'm a wussy baby by nature.
Probably much of my success in not feeling like a complete failure comes from Sammy liking to sleep in the car (and subsequently in the grocery store) Aaron being home between jobs a fair amount, and my mom coming over to provide adult conversation on a weekly basis.
The biggest problem besides both of the babies needing something at the same time is my lack of sleep. This is a combination problem: I hate going to bed and stay up too late (yeah, 11pm is pretty late, I know) and the kids have a magical talent of never napping at the same time.
So all in all, it's been a great and pretty easy first month. Now get back to me when I have two babies that can crawl/run/move in different directions. I imagine that will be pretty ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong. It's hard. Like the times when both babies are crying. Or not napping. Or waking each other up. But it's a lot easier than I imagined it would be. As I tell most everyone, I imagined extreme ultimate chaos, and anything below that is a welcome surprise. So, pretty much I will declare it a bad day based on these conditions all occurring at the same time: 1. Sammy is crying 2. Harmon is crying 3. I am crying. Thus far we have managed only two crying at the same time, not all three of us, though we have come close. Most of the crying is done by the kids, but I've done my fair share but that's probably mostly because I'm a wussy baby by nature.
Probably much of my success in not feeling like a complete failure comes from Sammy liking to sleep in the car (and subsequently in the grocery store) Aaron being home between jobs a fair amount, and my mom coming over to provide adult conversation on a weekly basis.
The biggest problem besides both of the babies needing something at the same time is my lack of sleep. This is a combination problem: I hate going to bed and stay up too late (yeah, 11pm is pretty late, I know) and the kids have a magical talent of never napping at the same time.
So all in all, it's been a great and pretty easy first month. Now get back to me when I have two babies that can crawl/run/move in different directions. I imagine that will be pretty ridiculous.
Car Trip
Because Aaron is starting a new job on Monday, we decided last week that we would take a trip to Montana to visit his family. We then were stuck with the decision of how to get there. Options included train (24ish hours), car (8hrs without kids), flying (1.5hrs in the air). Of course these options were not only factors of time, but of money too. Aaron managed to buy himself a truck and so we decided that was the way to go. But I was scared. Real scared.
But as it turns out, I had nothing to be afraid of (this time). Baby Peanut slept pretty much the whole time both ways. There were a few peeps and crying, but mostly silence from her end. Harmon was an angel. Going over he napped pretty well, and was content to play with toys and chat with us. Near the end of the trip when we had to turn around to go rescue Aaron's parents traveling the opposite direction I knew it was time to bust out the DVD player. I mean come on, he had been in the car for over 8 hours at that point, it was totally justified. (I am really only trying to convince myself it's ok.) Going home was a bit more difficult, but he was still practically perfect. This time aided by juice boxes and candy and about 45 minutes before home a DVD.
So, in sum: 1 month old baby plus almost 15 month old baby plus bribery and stopping a bunch = good car trip. I really should call it great, as it was about 100 times better than expected, but I don't like riding in the car that much either, so we'll just call it good for now.
But as it turns out, I had nothing to be afraid of (this time). Baby Peanut slept pretty much the whole time both ways. There were a few peeps and crying, but mostly silence from her end. Harmon was an angel. Going over he napped pretty well, and was content to play with toys and chat with us. Near the end of the trip when we had to turn around to go rescue Aaron's parents traveling the opposite direction I knew it was time to bust out the DVD player. I mean come on, he had been in the car for over 8 hours at that point, it was totally justified. (I am really only trying to convince myself it's ok.) Going home was a bit more difficult, but he was still practically perfect. This time aided by juice boxes and candy and about 45 minutes before home a DVD.
So, in sum: 1 month old baby plus almost 15 month old baby plus bribery and stopping a bunch = good car trip. I really should call it great, as it was about 100 times better than expected, but I don't like riding in the car that much either, so we'll just call it good for now.
12/24/09
The First Two Weeks
It would be fair to say that things are going better than expected. But it also would be fair to say that if you expect ultimate chaos all the time, then anything less than that would seem easier.
The first couple of days were lovely. The bliss of a new cute baby managed to outweigh her brother's displeasure at her arrival. Plus the help of Grandma did wonders for everyone's sanity and rest. Day three was just our new family of four and suddenly things didn't seem so manageble. I spent most of my time in bed, but thought poor Aaron would go crazy. It seems that day three was just an adjustment day for everyone (especially Harmon) and that things have steadily improved from there.
Harmon started out screaming/throwing himself on the floor/rejecting me when Sammy was brand new and would cry. Now he will come over and pat her, he has stopped rejecting me (it was easier to do so when Aaron was home, not so much when it's just me) and only occasionally feels the need to melt down when Sammy is crying. It's fair though, I kind of want to melt down when she screams bloody murder.
Last Monday, 6 days after having Sammy, Aaron went back to work. And we were alone. I think Aaron was more scared for me than I was. And honestly, things went really really well. Probably partially because Sammy sleeps a lot still. And because she can't move on her own. And because Harmon is getting used to his new life. And because I am getting WAY more sleep than when I was pregnant, and this makes me feel 100 times better. Also my body is recovering 10 times faster than when I had Harmon, so that makes life easier too.
I have decided a bad day consists of Sammy, Harmon, and me all crying at the same time. Of the 4 days we have spent alone, none of them have been bad. Day 4 was kind of stressful, and the kids often decide to cry and be starving at the same time, but we have yet to reach the all of us crying point. I have no doubt it will come someday, but I hope to keep it at bay as long as possible.
So, my report for the first two weeks is that having two kids less than 14 months apart is great. I really enjoy both of them, Harmon makes me laugh so much, and Samantha is a good cute cuddler. I choose to live in the bliss that we are currently enjoying and am trying to block out what will happen when both children crawl/walk/run/gang up on me on purpose.
P.S. Church is ridiculous with one small child, add another and it's insane. I think in the 3 hours we spent at church Aaron managed to get about 30 minutes total in class, and me about 45.
The first couple of days were lovely. The bliss of a new cute baby managed to outweigh her brother's displeasure at her arrival. Plus the help of Grandma did wonders for everyone's sanity and rest. Day three was just our new family of four and suddenly things didn't seem so manageble. I spent most of my time in bed, but thought poor Aaron would go crazy. It seems that day three was just an adjustment day for everyone (especially Harmon) and that things have steadily improved from there.
Harmon started out screaming/throwing himself on the floor/rejecting me when Sammy was brand new and would cry. Now he will come over and pat her, he has stopped rejecting me (it was easier to do so when Aaron was home, not so much when it's just me) and only occasionally feels the need to melt down when Sammy is crying. It's fair though, I kind of want to melt down when she screams bloody murder.
Last Monday, 6 days after having Sammy, Aaron went back to work. And we were alone. I think Aaron was more scared for me than I was. And honestly, things went really really well. Probably partially because Sammy sleeps a lot still. And because she can't move on her own. And because Harmon is getting used to his new life. And because I am getting WAY more sleep than when I was pregnant, and this makes me feel 100 times better. Also my body is recovering 10 times faster than when I had Harmon, so that makes life easier too.
I have decided a bad day consists of Sammy, Harmon, and me all crying at the same time. Of the 4 days we have spent alone, none of them have been bad. Day 4 was kind of stressful, and the kids often decide to cry and be starving at the same time, but we have yet to reach the all of us crying point. I have no doubt it will come someday, but I hope to keep it at bay as long as possible.
So, my report for the first two weeks is that having two kids less than 14 months apart is great. I really enjoy both of them, Harmon makes me laugh so much, and Samantha is a good cute cuddler. I choose to live in the bliss that we are currently enjoying and am trying to block out what will happen when both children crawl/walk/run/gang up on me on purpose.
P.S. Church is ridiculous with one small child, add another and it's insane. I think in the 3 hours we spent at church Aaron managed to get about 30 minutes total in class, and me about 45.
11/14/09
I'm Ready. No I'm Not.
This is the 4 minute loop that plays in my head all day.
First I think: yes, I am going to have two kids, 13 month apart, everything will be fine (I have no idea why I think this).
Then 30 seconds later I panic: what? I have a one-year-old who just started walking, likes to attempt to dive out of shopping carts, is becoming more and more "willful" and likes being held an awful lot. How does a baby who can't do anything for themselves fit into this situation without a lot of screaming from one or both of them?
I talk myself down: No no, lots of other people have done this. They all survived. None of them died. Some of them even had lots of kids close together
Panic: When will I sleep/shower/sleep/shop/sleep/sleep/clean/sleep/read/sleep?
Calm: I will go to bed early, I will beg others for help, I will be fine.
Panic: What if my kids hate each other? What if Harmon gets hurt while I am taking care of the baby? What if Harmon pokes/bites/squashes/beats on the baby? What if my new baby is ugly? (a totally important fear, right.)
Calm: I hate being pregnant. Being not pregnant will be great.
Panic: insert any new thought on the difficulty of having two children, especially two very young children.
Repeat.
[PS Sorry about the weird formatting, it's being mean to me.]
First I think: yes, I am going to have two kids, 13 month apart, everything will be fine (I have no idea why I think this).
Then 30 seconds later I panic: what? I have a one-year-old who just started walking, likes to attempt to dive out of shopping carts, is becoming more and more "willful" and likes being held an awful lot. How does a baby who can't do anything for themselves fit into this situation without a lot of screaming from one or both of them?
I talk myself down: No no, lots of other people have done this. They all survived. None of them died. Some of them even had lots of kids close together
Panic: When will I sleep/shower/sleep/shop/sleep/sleep/clean/sleep/read/sleep?
Calm: I will go to bed early, I will beg others for help, I will be fine.
Panic: What if my kids hate each other? What if Harmon gets hurt while I am taking care of the baby? What if Harmon pokes/bites/squashes/beats on the baby? What if my new baby is ugly? (a totally important fear, right.)
Calm: I hate being pregnant. Being not pregnant will be great.
Panic: insert any new thought on the difficulty of having two children, especially two very young children.
Repeat.
[PS Sorry about the weird formatting, it's being mean to me.]
10/26/09
Alert: You are about to have two
On Sunday Aaron re-realized we are about to have two children. One whom we call destructor and another who will be unable to do anything for herself. I think he was terrified.
Also a big high-five to all the strangers who have pointed out to me lately: "you will have your hands full very soon!" Here is my reply to all of them: A. My, you are observant B. Thank you, I had no idea! C. Come over to my house right now, my hands are already full D. You need a chop.
Also a big high-five to all the strangers who have pointed out to me lately: "you will have your hands full very soon!" Here is my reply to all of them: A. My, you are observant B. Thank you, I had no idea! C. Come over to my house right now, my hands are already full D. You need a chop.
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