This is the 4 minute loop that plays in my head all day.
First I think: yes, I am going to have two kids, 13 month apart, everything will be fine (I have no idea why I think this).
Then 30 seconds later I panic: what? I have a one-year-old who just started walking, likes to attempt to dive out of shopping carts, is becoming more and more "willful" and likes being held an awful lot. How does a baby who can't do anything for themselves fit into this situation without a lot of screaming from one or both of them?
I talk myself down: No no, lots of other people have done this. They all survived. None of them died. Some of them even had lots of kids close together
Panic: When will I sleep/shower/sleep/shop/sleep/sleep/clean/sleep/read/sleep?
Calm: I will go to bed early, I will beg others for help, I will be fine.
Panic: What if my kids hate each other? What if Harmon gets hurt while I am taking care of the baby? What if Harmon pokes/bites/squashes/beats on the baby? What if my new baby is ugly? (a totally important fear, right.)
Calm: I hate being pregnant. Being not pregnant will be great.
Panic: insert any new thought on the difficulty of having two children, especially two very young children.
Repeat.
[PS Sorry about the weird formatting, it's being mean to me.]
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